


A Show To Remember

by Eruanna_the_Fool



Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Crack, F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:55:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25221991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eruanna_the_Fool/pseuds/Eruanna_the_Fool
Summary: East Farthing was graced by a punk rock hobbit band dressed in Desolation Row clothing, Frodo behaves unlike himself due to adrenaline rush, Sam is in love with the vocalist, Fatty feels betrayed, Pippin is innocent and is allergic to a certain flower, a queer mushroom-loving creature named Tom comes with Gandalf.
Relationships: Estella Bolger/Merry Brandybuck, Frodo Baggins/Sam Gamgee
Kudos: 2





	A Show To Remember

**Author's Note:**

> I was in a bad headspace, listening to The Black Parade, and wrote this piece.

‘So why don’t you blow me. . .’

Then Frodo looked Sam in the eyes and with a smirk, continued:

‘. . .a kiss before she goes.’

The lasses cheered, trampling over one another like wild foxes chasing the only prey in the woods. One fainted and fell to the ground. A chant of “we love you Frodo Baggins” started, but before it could rise out and drown out the music of the hobbit band, Frodo quieted them with a wink, which only resulted in louder cheering.

Pippin was doing the backing vocals while playing bass, pleased with the attention he was getting himself. Merry did the rhythm guitar and Fatty the drums.

Frodo dropped dramatically to his knees and sang with a twisted face:

‘Give me a shot to remember  
And take away all the pain away from me  
A kiss and I will surrender  
The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead’

“Mr. Frodo, what’re you doing?” said Sam as Frodo pulled him up the stage. The poor lad was blushing furiously, embarrassed of the attention now on him. The lasses quietened and stared in awe as Frodo dipped Sam and kissed him. Sam’s eyes fluttered shut with a hum, returning the force of the kiss. More than two minutes passed and Frodo got lost in the moment that the band stopped playing altogether, watching with jaws dropped as their vocalist devoured Sam’s mouth with a passion.

Merry had to pull his cousin off of Sam while Pippin made sure the other was still breathing. Sam wore a dazed face, so in love was he with Frodo, that Pippin found too much for an innocent child like himself.

“Control, Frodo!” said Merry sternly as he led his cousin to the side of the stage.

“You don’t understand, young Meriadoc. It’s just so hard to resist,” whined Frodo with a longing look at Sam. Merry turned him around again to face away from the poor bloke.

“I understand. The pressure is great and it’s so tempting to do,” Merry gestured wildly with his hands, “extra-musical band stuff.

“But you don’t see me grabbing Estella from the audience and touching her beautiful hair and kissing those lush—oh, Eru, those lips!” Merry sighed. He never got to finish what he was saying when he saw Fatty leave his drum set. The hobbit looked furious and confused at the same time, eyeing Merry with a mixed expression.

“YOU LIKE MY SISTER?” Fatty yelled incredulously.

“Oh, no,” Pippin laughed as Merry abandoned his guitar to Frodo and leaped from the platform. Fatty ran after him.

“ALL THIS TIME, MY SISTER IS THE ONE YOU SPEAK OF WANTING TO—” fireworks exploded in the distance, drowning out Fatty’s next words.

“MERRY, I LISTENED TO YOU DRONE ON ABOUT DOING—” horns blared from the outpost of Buckland.

Sam gave a loud gasp and nervously hid behind Pippin. When Pippin moved to see what’s wrong, Sam lifted him and squeaked, “Hide me, Master Pippin!”

The Gaffer, Bilbo, Gandalf, and some weird guy who called himself Tom joined the audience, finally arriving to see the special show. Each of them carried a bag of flower petals to throw at the stage at the end of the final performance.

A flushed Sam joined the Gaffer and greeted him nervously. “The show is great, nothing extravagant is really happening, if you take my meaning.” He took notice of the bags and his face dropped at the sight of the mutilated garden flowers but stayed silent in respect.

“Has the show ended?” Bilbo said, being the first of the newcomers to notice the lack of activity on the stage. “Shall we throw the petals now, or would you all care to hear a verse that suddenly popped in—”

“The flowers shall wilt, Bilbo!” Gandalf interjected quickly. And the others apart from Tom agreed with him, not because they did not want to hear Bilbo’s poetic work, of course, but because the flowers needed to be littered all around the clean place.

The company went up to the front of the traumatised crowd (and dear confused Estella). “To an excellent show!” Bilbo cheered before the flowers were thrown up in the air. The petals dropped in an awkward lump in front of Pippin.

“I hope these are not dai—achoo!” Pippin sneezed. “Oh no.” His face slowly started to swell.

“Poor Peregrin!” cried Pearl, running forward and picking Pippin in hwr arms. “My baby brother, are you alright? Come, we’re taking you to the closest healing house.”

Despite Pippin’s protests of “I’m no longer a baby, Pearl. It’s okay!”, his sister summoned four hobbits to carry him on a makeshift cradle.

“Eglantine will be furious with me,” Bilbo said with brows furrowed, thinking a rhyme out of it.

Frodo was the only hobbit left on the stage. He grabbed a microphone from the stand awkwardly. “Goodnight, East Farthing,” he said before flipping his head to the side and winking at the resurrected audience.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The song performed by the band is “The Sharpest Lives” by My Chemical Romance.


End file.
